How Working Moms Can Cope with Burnout

Working moms are some of the most capable people in the room, and often, the most exhausted.

I’ve noticed many clients describe a similar experience: they’re competent at work, deeply devoted to their families, and completely burned out. From the outside, everything appears “fine,” yet carrying the mental load largely on their own feels unsustainable.

The mental load refers to the constant behind-the-scenes work of anticipating needs, remembering details, planning ahead, and holding responsibility for outcomes. It’s knowing the kids’ schedules, tracking deadlines at work, planning meals, and monitoring everyone’s emotional state all at once. Unlike physical tasks, this labor is largely invisible, and it rarely turns off.

This balancing act isn’t easy. For working moms, burnout often develops from the cumulative weight of competing demands and the exhaustion that comes with juggling work and home life. Over time, the nervous system stays in a state of constant alert, leaving little opportunity for true rest or recovery.

Signs of Burnout in Working Moms

Burnout doesn’t always look like a breakdown. Many high-functioning women continue to show up for everyone else while quietly running on empty. Common signs of burnout include:

● Persistent fatigue

● Irritability or emotional reactivity

● Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

● Loss of joy or motivation

● Feeling like you’re “just getting through the day”

● Guilt for wanting space or relief

Sound familiar?

These are not signs of failure or being a bad mom. The truth is, they are signals from the nervous system that something needs to change.

Strategies to Cope with Burnout

The goal of coping with burnout isn’t to push harder—it’s to create more relief. While larger systems matter, there are practical, emotionally grounded ways to reduce mental load and make daily life feel more manageable.

1. Make the Invisible Visible

The mental load is exhausting because it lives in your head. Writing tasks down, using shared calendars, and creating visible systems can help externalize responsibility. When the load is visible, it becomes easier to share and easier to release.

2. Move from “Helping” to Shared Ownership

Many moms find that asking for help still leaves them managing others, which only adds to burnout. A healthier shift is toward shared ownership, where each adult is fully responsible for certain tasks from start to finish—planning, execution, and follow-through included.

3. Practice Boundaries Without Guilt

Burnout thrives on your overextension. Learning to say no—without lengthy explanations or apologies—is a skill that protects your energy. In therapy, boundaries are framed not as rejection, but as care for your mental health and long-term sustainability.

4. Redefine Rest

In the context of burnout, rest is not just sleep. True rest is relief from responsibility. It’s time when you are not managing, anticipating, or being needed. Therapy can help identify what kind of rest actually restores you and address the guilt that prevents you from taking it.

5. Challenge the “Good Mom” Narrative

Perfectionism keeps mental load heavy. A “good enough” mindset rooted in self-compassion allows flexibility, delegation, and mistakes. Children benefit more from regulated, present caregivers than from flawlessly managed homes.

The Bottom Line: You Don’t Have to Figure It Out Alone

You don’t need to carry everything alone to be a good mother, professional, or person. You deserve support in this overwhelming time in your life.

Dealing with burnout and the mental load can get easier. At our women-led therapy practice, we frequently work with moms who are looking for ways to set boundaries and rest.

Therapy for Women can offer a space to unpack, renegotiate roles, and reconnect with who you are beyond productivity and caretaking.

Together, we can identify the changes that will help you feel more like yourself again.